"Suicides are." The very first one will say, ‘Jesus! When not working on KIM, he enjoys traveling, poker, and anything related to crypto. Thanks for the great selection of quotes, I needed to find my sense of humor after losing it. We are best friends.

They laugh and insult you with something even better.”, 16. to help give you the best experience we can. (R)espect you. People always thought she was too wonderful to belong to them or that something too wonderful would hurt too much to lose. Stupid Funny Quotes. “Happiness is …when your mother is one of your best friends.”, 7. It is about who walked in your life and said, “I’m here for you” and proved it.”, 37.

Just like everyone else.”, “Age is an issue of mind over matter. Thanks for the inspiring and funny quotes. I realize I should spend much less time watching the news, and more time laughing.

We’ve got you covered…eval(ez_write_tag([[300,250],'keepinspiring_me-medrectangle-3','ezslot_0',182,'0','0'])); We’ve compiled the largest list of funny quotes to make you laugh out loud. “I wish my friend’s houses were connected to mine by secret tunnels.”, 33. 52 Crazy Funny Friendship Quotes for Best Friends. And life is a little weird. Life can get overwhelming at times.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States.”, “Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop.”, “A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.”, “Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.”, “Here’s to our wives and girlfriends…may they never meet!”, “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”, “I was married by a judge. You are crazy. 2108 views on Imgur: The magic of the Internet, “Yep. "Sadie frowned. I don’t necessarily call it “crazy”, I call it happiness with benefits.” Happiness is something that we want so badly. A true friend is the rarest gem.”, 50. Look at the non-wearing, beautiful

"So junkies are at the top of the crazy chain," I said.


If you ever wished you could be a child forever. Documentary, Comedy, 1984. 23). After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!”, “I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.”, “Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.”, “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.”, “Inside me there’s a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes.”, “We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.”, “As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”, “My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.”, “All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.”, “He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.”, “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”, “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. “You know what he can do. Welcome back.

“I hate you, and then I love you. Love me.”, 11. THANK U FOR UR QUOTE WHICH IS VERY INSPIRING.

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You can never quite tell what those will do. Laughter and life truths- a rare delicacy! “Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.”, “Leave something for someone but dont leave someone for something.”, “Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.”, “Never have more children than you have car windows.”, “I drink to make other people more interesting.”, “Great art is the contempt of a great man for small art.”, “You’re only as good as your last haircut.”, “Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.”, “Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.”, “I can’t understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.”, “The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.”, “Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all others because you were born in it.”, “We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience.”, “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”, “If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. He won’t expect it back.”, “Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.”, “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.”, “I can resist everything except temptation.”, “I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. This one's called 'Bang You Like a Drum.”, “Don’t worry if people think you’re crazy.

“F.R.I.E.N.D.S (F)ight for you.

What on earth the others are here for I don’t know.”, “A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.”, “My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill he gave me six months more.”, “Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.”, “Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.”, “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.”, “When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep.

like anyone else, I love babies…..coochee coo…gorgeous ! Anonymous. So the only difference between myself and the believers is that I am skeptical of 2,500 gods whereas they are skeptical of 2,499 gods. I read them all, and went from a bad mood to a good mood. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”, “A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Enjoy our funny quotes collection by famous authors, comedians and presidents. I keep fidgeting, crossing one leg and then the other.

Get them laughing in a funny way by using these crazy quotes. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. There is something unfair about its use. See more ideas about Funny quotes, Bones funny, Make me laugh. “When I see my best friend crying: who do I have to kill?”, 28. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it.”, “If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead already?”, “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”, “Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”, “Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know.”, “Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”, “I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.”, “Everyone has a purpose in life.

They're a dime a dozen and usually pretty boring. “A friend is like a good bra… Hard to find supportive comfortable always lifts you up makes you look better and always close to your heart!!! Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Never underestimate the social awareness and sense of reality in a quiet person; they are some of the most observant, absorbent persons of all.”, “When the whole world is crazy, it doesn't pay to be sane.”, Born Ready: Unleash Your Inner Dream Girl, Girl, Interrupted: Screenplay based on the book, Where I'm Calling From: New and Selected Stories.

Notify me of follow-up comments by email. We’re only one God away from total agreement.”, “My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.”, “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”, “A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.”, “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”, “My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life.

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